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Welcome to We-Speak.

This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.

What feels like the right place to start today?
Story
From a survivor
🇮🇪

Name

I was raised by a misogynistic narcissist so in my early 20s I thought my boyfriend's behavior was at least better than I was raised with. His behaviour spiralled over the years and there was gaslighting, financial abuse and finally rape. I didn't see the warning signs, sex would be very rough but I thought I enjoyed it. He had lost his job and had not worked for a year at 23, he used to smoke weed and stay up all night playing videogames. More than a few times I woke up to him masturbating so vigorously the bed would shake. One day I was sitting on the loo and I was in a bit of pain and I noticed semen in my knickers that I didn't know how it got there. I remember the ringing sound in my ears, but I decided to ignore it, I mean he couldn't possibly have. Then one night I woke up and he was rummaging in my pajama shorts and I realized he was penetrating me. I remember freezing in the dark and then calling his name. He said he wasn't doing anything, rolled over and went to sleep. I repressed this memory completely. I dumped him a few months later and thankfully moved on with my life. With my current partner (a wonderful man), we were having sex one night early in our relationship and the incident that happened with my ex hit me like a trolley and I had a flashback and a full body panic attack. I had to face what had happened to me then, I thought I was crazy and that no one would believe me, it's not your classic rape case. The incident tortured me mentally for about a year and thankfully I eventually sought help. I still think about revenge every day and am afraid to run into my ex in the city where I live. But we carry on. I am grateful to so many women who have shared their stories or managed to find justice when they report they were attacked in their sleep. We are a powerful bunch us ladies, and I am so thankful I could share my story here today. Bless you all xx

  • Report

  • “These moments in time, my brokenness, has been transformed into a mission. My voice used to help others. My experiences making an impact. I now choose to see power, strength, and even beauty in my story.”

    Message of Healing
    From a survivor
    🇮🇪

    If you're reading this because something happened to you, I just want to start by saying I'm so sorry. I know how lonely it can feel. For the longest time, I genuinely thought I was the only person who felt the way I did. I kept thinking, "Why can't I just get over this?" or "Why am I still thinking about it?" I felt guilty for talking about it, guilty for not talking about it, guilty for having bad days, guilty for having good days. Trauma has a funny way of making you feel guilty for things that were never your fault. After everything happened, I didn't feel like me anymore. People would see me in college or at work and probably think I was okay. I wasn't. I'd go home and have nightmares. I'd get flashbacks that made me feel like I was right back there again. I'd freeze when people got too close to me. I felt scared in situations that had never scared me before, and I hated that because I just wanted my old life back. The worst part wasn't even the day it happened. The worst part was feeling like I'd lost myself afterwards. I kept wondering if I'd ever laugh properly again, ever trust people again, or ever stop thinking about it. Some days I honestly thought this was just who I was going to be forever. But I was wrong. Healing didn't happen overnight. It wasn't one big moment where everything suddenly got better. It was loads of tiny moments that didn't feel important at the time. Going to counselling. Letting myself cry instead of pretending I was grand. Realising that having a bad day didn't mean I was back at square one. Slowly, I started finding bits of myself again. I found comfort in making art because it let me express things I couldn't always put into words. It reminded me that there was still a part of me that trauma couldn't touch. I'm still healing, and I think that's okay. I don't think healing means forgetting. I don't think it means pretending it never happened. I think it means getting to a point where what happened is part of your story, but it isn't your whole story anymore. The reason I'm sharing this isn't because I have all the answers. I'm sharing it because, a year ago, I desperately needed someone to tell me that the way I was feeling was normal after something so traumatic. So if that's you... Please don't blame yourself. Please don't think you're "too much" because you're struggling. Please don't think you're weak because you're still affected. And please don't give up on yourself. I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but it does get lighter. Not all at once. Not in a straight line. But little by little. One day you'll catch yourself laughing without forcing it. One day you'll realise you went a whole afternoon without thinking about what happened. One day you'll look back and realise you've survived days you never thought you'd get through. If nobody has told you this today, I'll tell you. I'm proud of you for still being here. And if you're reading this feeling completely alone, you're not. Neither of us should ever have had to go through what happened. But neither of us has to go through healing alone.

  • Report

  • You are surviving and that is enough.

    Welcome to We-Speak.

    This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.

    What feels like the right place to start today?
    Story
    From a survivor
    🇮🇪

    Name

    I was raised by a misogynistic narcissist so in my early 20s I thought my boyfriend's behavior was at least better than I was raised with. His behaviour spiralled over the years and there was gaslighting, financial abuse and finally rape. I didn't see the warning signs, sex would be very rough but I thought I enjoyed it. He had lost his job and had not worked for a year at 23, he used to smoke weed and stay up all night playing videogames. More than a few times I woke up to him masturbating so vigorously the bed would shake. One day I was sitting on the loo and I was in a bit of pain and I noticed semen in my knickers that I didn't know how it got there. I remember the ringing sound in my ears, but I decided to ignore it, I mean he couldn't possibly have. Then one night I woke up and he was rummaging in my pajama shorts and I realized he was penetrating me. I remember freezing in the dark and then calling his name. He said he wasn't doing anything, rolled over and went to sleep. I repressed this memory completely. I dumped him a few months later and thankfully moved on with my life. With my current partner (a wonderful man), we were having sex one night early in our relationship and the incident that happened with my ex hit me like a trolley and I had a flashback and a full body panic attack. I had to face what had happened to me then, I thought I was crazy and that no one would believe me, it's not your classic rape case. The incident tortured me mentally for about a year and thankfully I eventually sought help. I still think about revenge every day and am afraid to run into my ex in the city where I live. But we carry on. I am grateful to so many women who have shared their stories or managed to find justice when they report they were attacked in their sleep. We are a powerful bunch us ladies, and I am so thankful I could share my story here today. Bless you all xx

  • Report

  • Message of Healing
    From a survivor
    🇮🇪

    If you're reading this because something happened to you, I just want to start by saying I'm so sorry. I know how lonely it can feel. For the longest time, I genuinely thought I was the only person who felt the way I did. I kept thinking, "Why can't I just get over this?" or "Why am I still thinking about it?" I felt guilty for talking about it, guilty for not talking about it, guilty for having bad days, guilty for having good days. Trauma has a funny way of making you feel guilty for things that were never your fault. After everything happened, I didn't feel like me anymore. People would see me in college or at work and probably think I was okay. I wasn't. I'd go home and have nightmares. I'd get flashbacks that made me feel like I was right back there again. I'd freeze when people got too close to me. I felt scared in situations that had never scared me before, and I hated that because I just wanted my old life back. The worst part wasn't even the day it happened. The worst part was feeling like I'd lost myself afterwards. I kept wondering if I'd ever laugh properly again, ever trust people again, or ever stop thinking about it. Some days I honestly thought this was just who I was going to be forever. But I was wrong. Healing didn't happen overnight. It wasn't one big moment where everything suddenly got better. It was loads of tiny moments that didn't feel important at the time. Going to counselling. Letting myself cry instead of pretending I was grand. Realising that having a bad day didn't mean I was back at square one. Slowly, I started finding bits of myself again. I found comfort in making art because it let me express things I couldn't always put into words. It reminded me that there was still a part of me that trauma couldn't touch. I'm still healing, and I think that's okay. I don't think healing means forgetting. I don't think it means pretending it never happened. I think it means getting to a point where what happened is part of your story, but it isn't your whole story anymore. The reason I'm sharing this isn't because I have all the answers. I'm sharing it because, a year ago, I desperately needed someone to tell me that the way I was feeling was normal after something so traumatic. So if that's you... Please don't blame yourself. Please don't think you're "too much" because you're struggling. Please don't think you're weak because you're still affected. And please don't give up on yourself. I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but it does get lighter. Not all at once. Not in a straight line. But little by little. One day you'll catch yourself laughing without forcing it. One day you'll realise you went a whole afternoon without thinking about what happened. One day you'll look back and realise you've survived days you never thought you'd get through. If nobody has told you this today, I'll tell you. I'm proud of you for still being here. And if you're reading this feeling completely alone, you're not. Neither of us should ever have had to go through what happened. But neither of us has to go through healing alone.

  • Report

  • “These moments in time, my brokenness, has been transformed into a mission. My voice used to help others. My experiences making an impact. I now choose to see power, strength, and even beauty in my story.”

    You are surviving and that is enough.

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    Grounding activity

    Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

    5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

    4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

    3 – things you can hear

    2 – things you can smell

    1 – thing you like about yourself.

    Take a deep breath to end.

    From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

    Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

    Take a deep breath to end.

    Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

    1. Where am I?

    2. What day of the week is today?

    3. What is today’s date?

    4. What is the current month?

    5. What is the current year?

    6. How old am I?

    7. What season is it?

    Take a deep breath to end.

    Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

    Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

    Take a deep breath to end.

    Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

    Take a deep breath to end.